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(TFT) Parenthood Spells/Talents



I thought that the subscribers of this list would enjoy the following. It was the brain-child (excuse the pun) by a few friends and myself after a couple of beers (mandatory). Feel free to add other spells or talents that you feel might fit the list. It is long but VERY well worth the read.
Jim-

Spells of Parenthood

IQ 8
	Deafness - Blocks all infant cries within a 3-megahex area. 1 ST.

Spousal Awakening - Gives caster the ability to roll over and wake up spouse at any hour of the night. Costs 1 ST. Roll a reaction roll to see if subject holds a grudge in the morning.

IQ 9
Cleanse Diaper - Eliminates all fecal matter upon casting. Roll 3 vs. ST to avoid retching if spell fails. 1 ST to cast

Speed Movement - A special form of the TFT spell which enables caster to keep up with toddler. 2 ST to cast, plus 2 per minute to maintain. (Note: this can exhaust caster quickly)

IQ 10
Image of baby-sitter - Threatening, but disappears if touched. 1 ST to cast.

Amuse Baby - Entertains infant subject for a turn. 1 ST + 1 to sustain. CUATION: Roll 3 vs. IQ or suffer temporary -1 to IQ.

IQ 11
Summon Baby-sitter - Creates 30 point teenage NPC to baby-sit. Spell duration: 1 hour with no ST cost, but drains $5/hour. Can be renewed for up to 6 hours, but then must recast.

Babytalk - Subject thinks baby babble is understandable, responding in kind. Lasts 4 turns. 1 ST to cast. Strangers react to subject at -3.

Lactate - Allows subject (male! or female) to provide the bonding experience that is normally reserved only for mothers. 3 +1 ST per minute.

IQ12
	Eyes Behind - Allows caster to maintain constant vigil. 3 ST per hour.

Sleep - Puts subject to sleep (roll 4 vs. DX when casting on infants) Can and often MUST be cast on self. 3 ST

IQ 13
Control Baby - As control person in TFT but caster must roll 5 vs. IQ to subdue children under 3. 3 ST.

Food Glamour - Makes children's food appear palatable. Costs 1 ST for basic edibles (e.g. peas, transformed to chocolate chip cookies), 2 ST to conceal liver, brussel sprouts, etc.

Lock/Knock Cabinet - Seals cabinets, outlets, and doors for security around the home. As per TFT.

IQ 14
Coordinate Outfit - Like Glamour. Ability to dress a kid in such a way as to avoid future embarrassment from childhood photographs. 10 ST. May be used in conjunction with Sears "Winnie the Pooh" collection.

Summon Teddy Bear - Functions as Pacifier (see magic items). Duration: 1 hour. 2 ST. Alternate spell: Summon Glass of Water.

IQ 15
	Reverse Question - Throws question back at child. 2 ST + 1 per turn.

Analyze Teenager - Caster rolls 4 vs. IQ to examine the mind of a subject between ages 12 and 18. CAUTION: If the IQ roll is missed, the target might shapeshift into a demon! Cost 4 ST.

IQ 16
Summon Sibling - Calls innocent scapegoat. 5 ST Normally a defensive spell, a nastier version exists: Summon Bully gains +2 on persuasion rolls.

Common Front - Use to coordinate discipline with spouse. Both mother and father must successfully cast the spell, which costs each 3 ST. To provide refuge in case of failure, it is wise to set up a Pentagram. (Often used with "Couch of Last Resort" - see magic items).


IQ 17
Question Shield - Renders caster impervious to repetitious queries. Does not work against Word of Command "WHY?", which only children can learn. 3 ST + 1/turn.

	Detect in-laws - Functions as WARD spell. 5 ST to set up.

IQ 18
Cleansing - Cast on person, this spell cures the common cold, flu, chicken pox, acne, and other childhood ailments. Failure gives the disease to caster. 10 ST.

Clean Room - Lifts dust from surfaces, cleans clutter from floorspace. Especially useful in combination with Magic Toy Chest. Cost: 4 ST.

	Stop Time - Preserves memories forever. 6 ST.

IQ 19
Summon Aunt - Compels caster's sister to drop everything and drop by to baby-sit for the weekend. Cost $500, plus airfare. If it fails, see "Detect in-laws".

Protection - A spell of invulnerability, shielding a child from the problems of the world for one day. Cost 8 ST.

IQ 20
	Words of Command - As in TFT:    "NO!"    "DON'T!"       "STOP!"

Summon Mary Poppins - An improved version of "Summon Baby-sitter". This spell creates a 50-point character that is Practically Perfect in every way, and also uses flight spell. Choose from the list of Parenting Spells and Talents. 10 ST. Alternative Necromantic spells: Summon Tollenkar or Send to Military School.


Parenting Talents


IQ 8
Baby Burping (1) - Successful on 3 vs. DX roll. Failure costs 5g.p. for dry cleaning.

IQ 9
Advice Giving (2) - Basic ability to mold and shape a child's character. Failure in the use of this talent may mean a permanent -3 on reaction rolls.

IQ 10
Spousal Appeasement (2) - Like Diplomacy, the ability to resolve simple marital/ family arguments on a successful roll of 3 vs. IQ Roll 4 vs. IQ in critical situations. 5 vs. IQ if fighting (6, during PMS). -1 to reaction rolls if missed.

IQ 11
Fatherhood I. (2) - Like Monster Followers talent. Prerequisite: Advice Giving, as well as: Common Sense, Compassion, Tolerance, Discipline, and Understanding.

IQ 12
Fatherhood II. (2) - Prerequisite: Fatherhood I. Roll 1 die less when answering questions. This talent includes the Mechanician talent, for doing simple repairs around the home.

IQ 13
	Clemency (3) - Ability to be forgiven. Prerequisite: Spousal Appeasement.

Fatherhood III. (3) - Prerequisite: Fatherhood II and ST 14. The ability to beat up any bully's father. FH3 also gives a limited Spying/"Analyze Teenager" ability, Useful for investigating your daughter's boyfriends.

Parenting Magic Items

LESSER MAGICAL ITEMS

· Carpet of Eternal Cleanliness - Cost 500 g.p.- Variations: Bib of Repulsion.

· Crib of Containment - A Pentagram variation. Holds babies and demons within a 1-Megahex area.

· Rattle of Amusement - An object enchanted with the Amuse Baby spell.

· Pacifier of Silence - As per the Deafness spell. No ST cost.

· Music Box of Lullabies - Characters within 3 megahexes must roll 3 vs. IQ or fall asleep for a time equal to 30 minus their ST (minutes).

· Bottomless Bottle of Mild - A mini-cornucopia, specializing in milk. Other forms: Never-ending Nursing Bra.

· Toy Chest of Holding - Can store an infinite amount of toys. (also see Pandora's box).

· Car Seat of Safety - Costs 1 ST to activate if car is Scandinavian-made. Costs 5 ST when used on sportscars.

GREATER MAGICAL ITEMS

· Avert Bully - This amulet takes the form of a lunch box, sharpened pencil, or a rabbit's foot. It is a +1 good luck charm when used in the principle's office.

· Elmer's Elixer of Bonding - Holds you together for a long day at work/school/in the kitchen. (Sold commercially as magical "Hamburger Helper".

· Tool Belt of Repairs - Contains items for household maintenance. Powers invoked by the magical phrase, "Honey, would you do?". When worn with Pants Showing Crack, mechanician talent rolls are enhanced at +1.

· Couch of Last Resort - A pentagram/ultimatum for decision-making, activated by spouse and the magic words: "honey, we need to talk?". This item occupies 2 hexes and costs 5 ST, due to pain in the neck.

· Hammer Touch Glove - As per TFT this disciplinary item deals with unremitting pestilence. It dispels the myth, "Son, this will hut me more than it does you." See also: Studded Belt of Persuasion. For puritans only.

· Sheath of Contraception - Many forms. Offers 100% protection and a lifetime guarantee. Magical opposite: Shaft of Virility.

· Ring of Uninterrupted Sex - A combination Ward/Avert/Pentagram item that affects children and family pets. Can also be used to disconnect phone and disable doorbell. Comes cleverly disguised as a wedding band.



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