(TFT) Spell Failures

[ErolB1@aol.com]

Not in "literature" exactly, but a filk song: 

                               Oops
Words and music by Catherine Faber

Neck deep in a fight in a deli called Stein's
I noticed him helping some guy as I went
When there sprang up a half dozen fast-growing vines
Of martial demeanor and barratrous bent
They soon showed their mettle--their thorns were like glass
To add complications to everyone's day
I tripped on a tendril and fell on my ass
And that was the first I heard Joshua say,

Chorus (after every verse):
"Oops, oops, extravagant curses
Adding new verses to a tired old song.
Oh, well, you can't be too picky,
Magic is tricky and apt to go wrong."

We were shooting the breeze down at Ichabod's house
When he glanced out the window and casually rose
Saying, "I see a cat that's not after a mouse,
Michael, go get him."  I heard the door close.
We watched Michael corner him, reach with a grin
And when he tried magic 'twas easily seen
I made his acquaintance as Mike bore him in
By the scruff of his neck--he was glowing and green.

(chorus)

We had words with a werewolf in Cheshire mall
And treated a window more rough than we should.
Security came and we fled down the hall
Josh must have decided disguise would be good
He whipped round the corner and stopped by some bins
Then grabbed for his belly and squeaked with surprise
I don't think he meant to be pregnant with twins
But the cop passed him over without looking twice.

(chorus)

Deep in a warehouse with nowhere to flee
A vampire's gaze summoned Joshua away.
He said, "Oh, no, you don't," and turned into a tree
Then tried something extra--but what I can't say.
The building turned clear to the ground far below
And left us suspended like ghosts of the dead.
I looked at the ground and I looked at our foe
And spoke the first words that popped into my head:

(chorus)

I lifted my weapon and braced for attack
Wishing for more than my courage and steel
A vampire before me, a tree at my back,
In a building I'd have to thread out of by feel
But he dodged and ran into the tree's sharp embrace
And staked his own self--surely not by design.
Two mages were more than he wanted to face
And if I said, "Oops," the mistake must be mine.

(chorus)

Words and music copyright (c) 1997 by Catherine Faber
On UNDER THE GRIPPING BEAST CD, copyright (c) 1997 by Catherine
Faber and Arlene Hills
=====
Post to the entire list by writing to tft@brainiac.com.
Unsubscribe by mailing to majordomo@brainiac.com with the message body
"unsubscribe tft"