Re: Re: (TFT) Re: permanence spell, gold, and a funny

["Jay Carlisle" <confused3141@hotmail.com>]

It has to do with finding a way to expend gold without buying or selling, 
like exploding gems did.

> > And make the material componet gold. Lots of gold.
>
> why?
> =====


Found this crawling the web. I kept cracking up so I thought I'd share. I've 
got a character sheet for him too. drop me a line and I'll mail it.....






     REDMOND, WA--Microsoft head Bill Gates, already considered by many to 
be among the most powerful men in the world, further increased his powers 
Monday, augmenting several of his key statistics to near-immortal levels.

     Among the most striking increases were a +2 raise in dexterity to 18, 
and an overwhelming charisma increase to an above-human score of 20, placing 
Gates in the realm of deities and demigods.

     "I am pleased to announce that I have boosted my already impressive 
statistics," Gates said in a statement to shareholders Monday. "As we 
develop the technological framework that will dominate the 21st century, 
these augmentations--and others to follow--will be powerful wards against 
competition from the likes of Netscape, Oracle and Melkor who is named 
Morgoth."

     "Microsoft is the software-industry leader today, and tomorrow it will 
also dominate the realm of information access, as well as the content being 
accessed," Gates said. "The continued growth of our Corbis Media archive, 
the successful development and launch of MSNBC, and my mastery of the shield 
spells of the Elven King Lagolin are only the beginning for Microsoft."

     Gates, who raised his intelligence to 20 in 1990, is fast becoming the 
most powerful CEO in American media. Experts place him above Fox's Rupert 
Murdoch and Disney's Michael Eisner, both of whom hold over 1.2 million hit 
points. Gates is also rumored to be in possession of a bag of holding 
containing one terabyte of information, as well as over 100 billion gold and 
silver pieces.

     Analysts see Monday's statistical boost as extremely beneficial to 
Gates in an increasingly competitive marketplace.

     "This is a very shrewd move on Gates' part," PC Magazine columnist 
John C. Dvorak said. "His vastly increased charisma--the prime stat of a 
chaotic evil executive--will help him tremendously in his ongoing struggle 
to convince skeptical Microsoft stockholders that his ventures into 
television and his massive content-buying spree will pay off in the long 
run. The extra CHR will also assist him greatly in dealing with wary CEOs of 
companies he wishes to invest in and cast spells over, like Comcast."

     "It hardly seems fair, but he will now be capable of near-invisibility 
in behind-the-scenes business dealings," Dvorak added, referring to the 
stealth augment which comes with a dexterity gain. "And at the same time, 
he'll wear Mordekainen's Spectacles of True Sight, which provide +6 insight 
gains into long-term Windows marketing strategies."

     While few question the wisdom behind Gates' stat increases, there 
remains a possibility that the Federal Trade Commission, which in 1996 ruled 
his licensing agreement with computer manufacturers to be in violation of 
anti-trust laws, will challenge the move. Even if the FTC rules against 
Gates, however, industry analysts believe that he should easily recover, 
thanks to his above-average 15 constitution.

     Gates' rivals expressed frustration over his ability to achieve 
invulnerability in a supposedly competitive market. "Combining this 
augmentation with last month's purchase of the Polo Shirt of Thalkettoth, 
which grants a +5 saving throw against anti-trust litigation, Gates should 
now be seen as operating outside the law," Apple CEO Dr. Gilbert Amelio said 
Tuesday. "One more sorcerous potion of Gain Market Share, and we might as 
well declare bankruptcy."

     "Anyone can be a Santa Claus DM and give out unearned stats," Oracle 
president Larry Ellison said. "I'm surprised he didn't just go ahead and 
give himself a 20 in everything." (OMG ROTFLMAO!!!)

     With overpowering statistics in all six ability categories, with the 
exception of strength, Gates is widely considered to be primed for the 
Kingship.

     "Certainly his campaign could be crushed if he made a mistake," ABC 
computer correspondent Geena Smith said. "But let's be realistic. He's got 
40 million experience points dating back to when he dropped out of Harvard. 
His party has done nothing but kill and acquire for 22 years. He knows when 
to cast versus when to hack-and-slash. He will be the emperor lich of 21st 
century media."


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