(TFT) I knew this guy

["David Michael Grouchy II" <david_michael_grouchy_ii@hotmail.com>]

    I knew this guy was the worst dice roller I have ever seen.  Let me 
tell you about the others first.  For comparison.
    Many role players who have gamed for a while are aware of dice 
superstitions that develope.  Some players have their prefered dice.  Others 
like to roll each dice one at a time.  Some have to roll all dice at once.  
But this is about flagrant abuse of the dice.

    For instance one guy, Gerald Henthorne (we called him Biff cause he 
said that's the sound a watermelon makes when it hits cement from four 
stories up), has his own dice he insists on using.  These are the softest 
dice ever.  Every corner is impacted and dented from use.  On top of that 
they are made from some kind of powder blue plastic and have numbers on them 
instead of dots.  But you can barley see the numbers.  Even up close.
    Every time he rolls an action he says one of two things.  "I hit."  or 
"I critical."  Then he scoops up the dice before anyone can check them.  He 
never missed.  The dice are so blurry that even people sitting next to him 
can't read them.  No one is sure how even he can.
    One Runequest GM is so put out by this, that he starts a whispering 
campaign against him.  Biff has a strong will and no one is able to talk him 
into using other dice.  So the GM ask us to start spotting his dice rolls.  
This doesn't work cause no one can even read the things.  So the GM tells 
him he ''has'' to use other dice.  Biff responds with "but these were a 
gift."  And he looks very hurt.
    I mean this isn't a little dice superstition.  This guy is out and out 
cheating and everyone knows it.  But this isn't the worst dice roller I have 
ever seen.

    A different guy with a completely different group of gamers has this 
bizzare home made box that he rolls dice in.  Now the GM in this game is 
completely different.  He's more a thesbian and actor than a war gamer.  He 
always has everyone play on the floor and pushes all the furniture out of 
the way.  So when character interactions happen everyone can stand up and 
litteraly interact and act.
    The GM also has about fifteen different DM screens from various games.  
He sets them up in a simi-circle around his corner of the room.  All set up 
they look like a double walled fortress around him.  And he litteraly has to 
climb in and out of his GMs corner when it comes time to stand up and 
interact.
    But the GM is a brilliant actor.  He can do three different accents 
perfectly and a dozen more very well.  Male or female characters, brave or 
scared, he can convey a lot in his performance.  when it comes to fights he 
returns to his corner, and all the players roll their dice on books.  These 
books are from various game systems (we called them "twelve dollar writting 
pads".)  But this one player can't keep his dice rolls on the book.  He has 
to roll three or four times before all the dice stay on the book and don't 
wind up in the carpet landing cock-eyed.
    This is why the guys brother makes the wooden rolling box for him.  
This box is about the size of a game book with sides that are a hand span 
deep.  Its made of big hunks of unstained wood and poorly fitted.  And at 
one end it has a raised lopsided hood to trap the dice, even if the dice are 
bounced very hard.  But the raised hood also acted like a DM screen.  Every 
time he rolls no one can see his dice.
    Now the guy seemes to be calling his dice right because he ''misses'' 
as often as not.  But he has a strange attachment to his wooden rolling box. 
 He can't play without it.  It's strange.  If he doesn't have his wooden 
box he can't even act very well.  I've never seen anything quite like it.  
But this isn't the worst dice roller I have ever seen.

    Edward Ott is the worst.  This guy, we called him Ward at the time, 
never has any trouble as a GM.  He runs great campaigns, and he's an even 
better player.  But when ever the situation gets tense for his character he 
gets a little nervous.  When the situation is normal he rolls the dice on 
the table normally just like everyone else.  But when things get sticky his 
dice rolls bounce and scatter and at least one dice always flys off the 
table.  In very intense situations the dice are known to hit the ceiling and 
fly into other rooms.
    We try a house rule that if any dice leave the table the player has to 
re-roll.  This doesn't work.  We just wind up spending a half hour while he 
tries over and over to calm down.  His dice rolls just keep bouncing and 
scattering.
    Finally we just start reading his dice where ever they fall.  It's not 
like this happens very often.  Only when things are looking bad for the 
players.  Its just amazing watching all the players hold up books to sheild 
their faces when he makes one of these vital rolls.  Then the players 
scatter about the house to call back what they read on the one dice they 
find.
    One time his character is armed only with a heavy crossbow.  He is 
facing a wizard four hexes away who summons a bear engaging Ward's 
character.  So he has one shot then he has to drop the cross bow.  Ward 
rolls to miss the bear.  The dice scatter over the table and one bounces to 
the floor.  He successfully misses the bear.  Then he collects the dice, 
comes back to his chair, and rolls to hit the wizard.  The dice bounce all 
over the table and hit some books, but they all stay on the table.  He gets 
his dice and roll the damage.  The dice scatter around half the table and he 
does enough damage to knock the wizard out.  Ward is now calm again.
    Wards dice rolling is like a barrometer for the seriousness of the 
situation.  One time everyone else is either knocked down, unconcious, or 
dead.  Ward's character is the only one left standing and there are three 
orcs still comming at him.  These dice rolls are flying everywhere.  Hitting 
windows, the ceiling, flying into other rooms, even bouncing off of other 
players.  And when he is shaking them up, he looks soooo... nervous.  I have 
never seen anything quite like it.

    David Michael Grouchy II





_________________________________________________________________
The new MSN 8: advanced junk mail protection and 2 months FREE*  
http://join.msn.com/?page=features/junkmail
=====
Post to the entire list by writing to tft@brainiac.com.
Unsubscribe by mailing to majordomo@brainiac.com with the message body
"unsubscribe tft"