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Re: (TFT) Artwork Critique
See interspersed comments, and following.
At 14:28 -0500 1/11/09, TFT Digest wrote:
And what's wrong with the pictures?
I find the pictures don't add anything to the game. And some of them are just
plain misleading. As in they mix up the facts. Lets take them one at a time.
Also I would like to say that what follows is written in the spirit of fun. I
don't do satyrical criticism much, so why not indulge this once.
First the cover. What is that glowing stuff anyway. And why are there three
distinct spheres of it. Is that supposed to be 3-hex fire? In the air like
that. If its supposed to be an abstract of not being any spell in particular
is works on that level. But not any others. Unless, what, the guy is casting
three points of fatigue?
Could be fireball, or lightning. Could be an illusion, and all the
balls will come together to make the illusion. That one doesn't
Advanced melee Page 2. Ok, this is almost, but not quite, three specific rules
Gotta agree on this one.
Advanced Melee Page 8. ...why is the sheath on the left side also.
Sheath might have just slipped around the belt during the battle. Or
he might be good enough to put the point of the sword into the sheath
under his arm, with bent wrist and elbow. It'd certainly be more
comfortable hiking with the weight distributed that way. But I have
to agree, I wouldn't do it because of the slower (and less powerful)
Advanced Melee Page 11. A half naked barbarian, bastard sword resting on his
Obviously surprised. Yeah, if that helmet isn't an "Avert", he's
gonna be a cautionary tale pretty soon.
Advanced Melee Page 23. I think her wrist is broken. The one holding the
sword. At least the reigns and harness on the horse look correct.
That's just perspective - the sword is long and thin, and pointing
away from us. And oooo, what a babe!
Advanced Melee Page 32. Great action shot. dead gargoyle. Barbarian who just
saved a lady from falling into a pit. Wait a minute. If the gargoyle knocked
her into the pit, how did the barbarian kill the gargoyle and catch the girl.
Does TFT have rules for catching people who fall into pits? If NOTHING happens
at the same time wouldn't she fail her DX roll, fall into the pit, and THEN
the barbarian would get an action.
Obviously, the pit was shallow enough the barbarian could reach down
and grab the lady's (? what kind of "lady" dresses like that?) hand.
She's probably been down there (dieting) for a couple of weeks,
unable to climb the 8 feet to escape because of her high heels.
Advanced Wizard Page 1. Some kind of viking in Hand To Hand (HTH) combat with
a lioness or a jaguar. He hasn't readied his dagger yet. He looks like he
kicking the jaguars' butt with his bare hand. So, If he's in HTH and fighting
shouldn't he be on the ground and NOT standing. Oh, wait! I get it. The jaguar
just attempted HTH and the viking rolled a 6 to resist getting a free attack.
BUT the rules on resisting HTH specifically says that on a roll to resist of 6
if the figure is unarmed (i.e. bare handed) a roll of 6 is ignored and they
must roll again. Why is this picture even in Advanced wizard. Shouldn't it be
in Advanced Melee? Maybe near the HTH rules.
...hasn't readied his *other* dagger (the one he'd use with his left
hand) yet. His right-hand dagger, the scabbard for which is on his
left hip out of sight, is buried in the tiger. We could see the hilt,
if it weren't for the tiger's leg.
Or maybe, he's just using a bare-hands attack (not HTH) on the tiger,
or rolled a 5 (no hit on the tiger, but repels the tiger even
barehanded) as the tiger tried for HTH. The tiger is snarling with
frustration, not pain.
Advanced Wizard Page 8. Some kind of a native with zulu style leggings, zulu
style spear, and fur liked head dress is being attacked by two reptile men. If
the section on reptile men says that a lone man fighting just one reptile man
is a "messy form of suicide" then why is a lone man confronted by two not even
using his spear? Note he is striking one of them with his left bare hand. On
top of that he is striking with his bare hand and he is not in HTH. Note the
platfrom he is stading on that they aren't. That proves they are not sharing
the same hex.
Hammertouch. Must be a pretty high-ranking Zulu shaman.
Still about to get brained by the other reptile man. Too bad, unless
that reptile misses his "to hit", in which case he's probably gonna
get hammered too.
Advanced Wizard Page 10. An archer takes his last shot option against a
crocodile. The crocodile has decided to engage the archer with his side hex.
Don't ask me why. Or did the archer run up to the croc's side hex. If so he's
probably moved too far to shoot.
Archer knows the croc is engaged by his buddies, out of sight to the
left. So he shifted forward one hex to make sure the croc stays
engaged and can't go eat the wizard, even if he drops one of the
buddies. Archer is taking the shot, at the wide side of the croc so
he gets a DX bonus.
He might not have counted on the croc's tail, though.
Advanced Wizard page 18. An ogre? The face is a little gruesome for a giant.
The ogre has a nice wrist band, an arm band, and a layered necklace. He also
has some kind of furry loin cloth held on with a belt. The question I have, is
why does he have fur strapped to his fore arms. Is this some kind of fore arm
armor we don't know about....
Displaced underarm hair. Happens a lot when ogres grow too fast. :-)
Advanced Wizard page 26. Myself, I always have time to stop and sheath my
weapon before climbing down a crevice to escape a troll. And climbing down
with no hands is my prefered method. NOT.
I always thought this guy was waiting in ambush for the troll to pass
below, but the troll went up the stairs instead, and the guy is in
for a big surprise in a second or two. I thought he should have
thrown his hood back when he started climbing.
Advanced Wizard page 36. Two hobgoblins. One with a crossbow. He has a quarrel
out and looks ready to noch it. Unfortunately the crossbow is not cocked.
OOps. Well, hobgoblins maybe not too smart.
Advanced Wizard page 39. A centaur weilding a battle axe ...
Looks like a small axe to me. Certainly looks throwable. Maybe I'm
just missing the scale, there.
In The Labrinth Page 3. The worst picture of all. This reptile man has wings.
Or is it a gargoyle with a huge tail?
Shapeshift, or Glamor, on a Wizard with a deranged imagination. In
trouble, too, if I'm not mistaken. Is this the same guy that took
down the tiger bare-handed...?
In The Labrinth Page 8. This gargoyle has a tail. And is that a pair of hooves
instead of feet? It directly contradicts the previous picture. Has anyone
found the rules for picking up and throwing living beings? What happens if you
throw something with wings. Not much I imagine.
Remember where it says gargoyles can "stoop" on their prey like eagles?
Obviously this gargoyle needs stooping lessons rather badly. Not
"stooped" enough yet.
In The Labrinth Page 11. Almost a usefull picture. A lady with monster
followers is taking her great ape back into the cave. Artistically the shading
in this picture is abomniable. The apes leg looks double jointed and twisted.
The lady is casting a shadow that has the profile of a great ape. What the
Gotta agree on this one.
In The Labrinth Page 17. If you compare the size of the stones in the wall to
the spacing of the windows in this fort, the stones must be giant compared to
a lone person. I mean simply enourmous. Huge. And is that mortar holding them
toghether? And such straight lines for such a random jumble of boulders.
Yeah, baby! I *always* wanted to live in that castle. Slight
tumble-home, so probably in an earthquake-prone country, like the
Japanese castles. For the same reason, stones don't join in straight
lines that could fracture all the way through, but in a "random"
pattern. But they are dressed flat on the outside, to prevent
climbers from getting too easy a foothold.
No wonder they are such good stonemasons and handlers. They have to
be. They have dragons there like we have buzzards in Texas. I *like*
In The Labrinth Page 25. I like this picture. It even seems to have relevance
to the paragraph above it. GETTING BACK LATE (OR HURT) to one's job. Though
the paragraph doesn't mention anything about paying a fine. That's what seems
to be happening here.
Agreed on all counts.
In The Labrinth Page 30. There are absolutely no rules for incense in any of
the books or suppliments ever published for TFT. The word incense is never
even mentioned. It is not on any equipment list. Yet, in this picture it is a
Could be a (pretty noxious) potion. I have to admit, that's a pretty
Hollywood-ized Alchemist, if so.
In The Labrinth Page 32. Why has that huge snake tied itself into such a
painfull looking knot.
...and how did the chainmail chick get the wind to blow her cape one
way, and her hair the other? Maybe the snake knows enough to tie
itself down to the rock when the weather is like that.
...In The Labrinth Page 43. "I create a fire to burn the neanderthal that is
attacking me with a feeble looking stick. Instead of creating the fire in his
hex, I will use the option to shape it. I shall create it from my elbow!"
"...and stand here while he clubs me to death faster than he could
possibly burn." But at least he looks dramatic as he gets clubbed.
In The Labrinth Page 49. This picture is cool. All kind of unexpected stuff.
The new fangled "open toe" boots to show off your clawed feet. Scale armor
(and you thought it wasn't availiable in only a skirt.) Chainmail shoulder
cowl. And cloth armor for the body. So he's wearing three types of armor.
Got his scabbard on the right side, though.
In The Labrinth Page 52. Here is a gargoyle who has to land on a window cill
with his hands and then pull his feet in. Instead of landing on the cill with
his feet like every other gargoyle. Also, there is that tail again. So can I
add in a taill attack for gargoyles now? That's three times they've been drawn
Obviously, icy window ledge. One foot slipped inside the building,
one out. Ooooh, I don't care what kind of mineral your "stones" are
made out of, that's *gotta* hurt! Just look at the expression of pain
on his face...
That was an 18 roll on 3 dice, for sure!
In The Labrinth Page 53. This dragon's body proportions hurt to look at. Those
look like front arms and not front feet. The neck doesn't look like it allow
the head to turn and attack in any direction. What is with the bottom of the
left wing. Did he dip it in ink?
Yeah, the wings look like a Coleman product, don't they.
THE CONUNDRUM OF THE WORKSHOPS
When the flush of a new-born sun fell first on Eden's green and gold,
Our father Adam sat under the Tree and scratched with a stick in the mould;
And the first rude sketch that the world had seen was joy to his mighty heart,
Till the Devil whispered behind the leaves, "It's pretty, but is it Art?"
Wherefore he called to his wife, and fled to fashion his work anew --
The first of his race who cared a fig for the first, most dread review;
And he left his lore to the use of his sons -- and that was a glorious gain
When the Devil chuckled "Is it Art?" in the ear of the branded Cain.
They fought and they talked in the North and the South,
they talked and they fought in the West,
Till the waters rose on the pitiful land, and the poor Red Clay had rest --
Had rest till that dank blank-canvas dawn when the dove was preened to start,
And the Devil bubbled below the keel: "It's human, but is it Art?"
They builded a tower to shiver the sky and wrench the stars apart,
Till the Devil grunted behind the bricks: "It's striking, but is it Art?"
The stone was dropped at the quarry-side and the idle derrick swung,
While each man talked of the aims of Art, and each in an alien tongue.
The tale is as old as the Eden Tree -- and new as the new-cut tooth --
For each man knows ere his lip-thatch grows he is master of Art and Truth;
And each man hears as the twilight nears, to the beat of his dying heart,
The Devil drum on the darkened pane: "You did it, but was it Art?"
We have learned to whittle the Eden Tree to the shape of a surplice-peg,
We have learned to bottle our parents twain in the yelk of an addled egg,
We know that the tail must wag the dog, for the horse is drawn by the cart;
But the Devil whoops, as he whooped of old: "It's clever, but is it Art?"
When the flicker of London sun falls faint on the Club-room's green and gold,
The sons of Adam sit them down and scratch with their pens in the mould --
They scratch with their pens in the mould of their graves,
and the ink and the anguish start,
For the Devil mutters behind the leaves: "It's pretty, but is it Art?"
Now, if we could win to the Eden Tree where the Four Great Rivers flow,
And the Wreath of Eve is red on the turf as she left it long ago,
And if we could come when the sentry slept and softly scurry through,
By the favour of God we might know as much -- as our father Adam knew!
- Mark 210-379-4635
Large Asteroids headed toward planets
inhabited by beings that don't have
technology adequate to stop them:
Think of it as Evolution in Fast-Forward.
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