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Re: Sailing War (was: Re: (TFT) Hirst Arts Melee/Wizard Arena)
I'm somewhere between HERE
< stands up in the spotlight >
"Tonight Dear patrons of the arts, I will, with this sldgehammer demolish this vintage game to the tune of the anvil course, after which I will consume the crankcase acepella!"
< is shocked by the crowds "ungrateful" response >
" YOKELS! RUBES! What do you know about great art?"
< is compleatly discouraged by crowds hostile response >
" Aw that does it! I'm giving up posting..."
< Jole Grey walks on stage admidst loud audieence reaction and puts arm around Jay >
JG "Hey Gonzo"
JC "Aw, you can call me Jay"
JG "Listen Jay, I was just reading some of your stuff, on the arcives, and a couple of thing occured to me, as one artist to another."
JC "Do you think I should write Death Test 3 thru 97?
JG "I think it's gonna take more than a Death Test copy Jay. I think it's the basic concept. What you need is some pizazz. Do you know what that means?
< Jay looks stupid >
Let me show you..."
< Sings >
Give 'em the old
< spins >
razzle dazzle
< flashes spirt fingers and SMILES >
Razzle dazzle 'em
Give 'em an act with
< casts Dazzel >
lots of flash in it
< spins (+1d) and casts Glamor for broadway style costume >
And the reaction
< grins >
will be passionate
Give 'em the old
< casts Illusion (?) on cane, turning it to flowers >
hocus pocus
< shuffel steps >
Bead and feather 'em
How can they see with
sequins in their eyes?
< cross steps to an elbow rest >
What if your hinges all are rusting?
What if, in fact,
< double take >
you're just disgusting?
< wait for it >
Razzle dazzle 'em
And they'll never catch wise
< back step into my dance >
Give 'em the old
razzle dazzle
Razzle dazzle 'em
Back in the days of old Methusulah
Everyone loves the big bamboozulah
Give 'em the old
three ring circus
Stun and stagger 'em
When you're in trouble
Go into your dance
Though you are stiffer
than a girder
They let you get a
way with murder
Razzle dazzle 'em
And you got a romance
< bows to the Muppets! >
< how awsomely creative! >
Give 'em the old
razzle dazzle
Razzle dazzle 'em
Give 'em an act that's
unassailable
They'll wait a year till
< ha >
you're available
Give 'em the old
wobble bammy
Daze and dizzy 'em
Show 'em the first rate
sorcerer you arrrrreeee
Long as you keep 'em
way off balance
How can they spot you
got no talents?
Ya just
Razzle dazzle 'em
Razzle dazzle 'em
Razzle dazzle 'em
And they'll make you a star
(transcribed by David )
Fixed and corriagraphed (like I care how to spell that one) by Jay
Lyrics: Razzle Dazzle, Shirley Bassey [end]
JC "well when you put it like that ANYONE could get appaluse!"
and HERE
THE ASSIGNATION
Fame singing in the highways, and trifling as she sang, with sordid
adventurers, passed the poet by.
And still the poet made for her little chaplets of song, to deck her
forehead in the courts of Time: and still she wore instead the worthless garlands, that boisterous citizens flung to her in the ways, made out of perishable things.
And after a while whenever these garlands died the poet came to her
with his chaplets of song; and still she laughed at him and wore the
worthless wreaths, though they always died at evening.
And one day in his bitterness the poet rebuked her, and said to her:
"Lovely Fame, even in the highways and the byways you have not
foreborne to laugh and shout and jest with worthless men, and I have
toiled for you and dreamed of you and you mock me and pass me by."
And Fame turned her back on him and walked away, but in departing
she looked over her shoulder and smiled at him as she had not smiled
before, and, almost speaking in a whisper, said:
"I will meet you in the graveyard at the back of the Workhouse in a
hundred years."
Which is a good thing becaus "Role Player Chokes On Vomit" just sound pathetic.
Actually, come to think of it, so does Rock Star.
As a matter of fact, the whole "chokes on vomit" bit is a little dweebish.
< puts on his best Bill and Ted voice >
DUDE! My Indian name!
Chokes On Vomit!
IT'S PERFECT!!!!
Childhood name; Does not play well with others
Adult name; Chokes on Vomit
Put the two together and you've got the story of Jay's life.
Does not play well with others chokes on vomit.
Reads like an obit huh?
What foul mood is THIS!?!?
AHHHH
I'm holding up the Little Peoples show.
Those bitches are getting scarry...
"I" can't be that smart...
Honestly, it's beyond me..., I just try to get in the habit of writing it down.
I'm an emanuencences for my insanity.
Whatever, worst case some bitch is getting a Thesus outta this crap.
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