Re: (TFT) Does size matter? (catchy subject, reveals typically non-plussing subject matter)

[Jay Carlisle <maou.tsaou@gmail.com>]

Chris Nicole wrote:
> My wife and I were mobbed by squirrels in a park in Chester a few weeks
> ago.

ROTFLMAO!!!

[clop clop whinny]
 KNIGHT:  They're nervous, sire.
 ARTHUR:  Then we'd best leave them here and carry on on foot.  Dis-mount!
 TIM:  Behold the cave of Kyre Banorg!
 ARTHUR:  Right!  Keep me covered.
 KNIGHT:  What with?
 ARTHUR:  Just keep me covered.
 TIM:  Too late!
     [chord]
 ARTHUR:  What?
 TIM:  There he is!
 ARTHUR:  Where?
 TIM:  There!
 ARTHUR:  What, behind the rabbit?
 TIM:  It is the rabbit!
 ARTHUR:  You silly sod!  You got us all worked up!
 TIM:  Well, that's no ordinary rabbit.  That's the most foul, cruel,
     and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on.
 ROBIN:  You tit!  I soiled my armor I was so scared!
 TIM:  Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide, it's a
     killer!
 KNIGHT:  Get stuffed!
 TIM:  It'll do you a trick, mate!
 KNIGHT:  Oh, yeah?
 ROBIN:  You mangy Scot git!
 TIM:  I'm warning you!
 ROBIN:  What's he do, nibble your bum?
 TIM:  He's got huge, sharp-- he can leap about-- look at the bones!
 ARTHUR:  Go on, Boris.  Chop his head off!
 BORIS:  Right!  Silly little bleeder.  One rabbit stew comin' right up!

This one goes in the Goblin Port fer sure!

Reasoning with squirrels is probably in the 20d6 against IQ range with no
auto-success...

Killer Squirrels
Each individual Squirrel has MA = 12, IQ = 6 (not that that
matters), DX = 12, and ST = 1. This means that any hit
on a Squirrel will kill it. When attacked by Squirrels, a figure can strike
once per melee turn (if a weapon is ready) AND stomp once.
The stomp is rolled like a regular attack. Thus, you have a
chance to kill two Squirrels per melee turn. If you are trying to
stomp a Squirrel in an adjacent hex, and you miss, you do NOT
roll to see if you hit the character in that hex, as you would
if you were using a weapon.
If a Squirrel bites you, you take 1 hit. Squirrel bites are CUMULATIVE
against armor each turn, and shields don't count. If you
are wearing leather, which takes 2 hits, then the first two Squirrel bites
each turn don't count, but the rest do. A Squirrel must be
on the figure's hex to attack.
Rats have a DX of 10 to simplify the GM's rolling. DX 10
gives a 75% chance of hitting. Therefore, instead of rolling 3
dice for each rat, you can roll 1d6 for each rat, and let it hit on
a roll of 1, 2, 3, or 4. This is faster ...
Vorpal Killer Squirrels do damage equal to a Great Sword (3d6+1) on a result
of 1.
If Squirrels attack, they will fight until all are dead. They won't
attack if you look strong. Sometimes they will not attack if
you throw them food or your shopping bags or significant other.
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