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Re: (TFT) Does size matter? (catchy subject, reveals typically non-plussing subject matter)


20D6 aginst (my) intelligence seems rather severe.
In my defence I would say that Squirrel 1 was clearly trying to
communicate with us.
He said "FEED ME".
He was polite at first, but quickly grew more insistant.

If I had replied in interspecies guineapig* he might have got the
message sooner. 

[* a language I'm familiar with if not fluent in.
When speaking to other animals, GP's use simple/baby language, speak
loud and slow, and say everything three times!]

I would like to point out that we did not stamp ON the squirrels.
No squirrels were harmed during the making of this adventure.



p.s. Jen said I should have hit the squirrel with the plastic bag.
Personally, I think I would then have had to extract an angry squirrel
from the bag.

  Chris Nicole

On Sat, 30 Jul 2011 10:38 -0700, "Jay Carlisle" <maou.tsaou@gmail.com>
> Chris Nicole wrote:
> > My wife and I were mobbed by squirrels in a park in Chester a few weeks
> > ago.
> [clop clop whinny]
>  KNIGHT:  They're nervous, sire.
>  ARTHUR:  Then we'd best leave them here and carry on on foot. 
>  Dis-mount!
>  TIM:  Behold the cave of Kyre Banorg!
>  ARTHUR:  Right!  Keep me covered.
>  KNIGHT:  What with?
>  ARTHUR:  Just keep me covered.
>  TIM:  Too late!
>      [chord]
>  ARTHUR:  What?
>  TIM:  There he is!
>  ARTHUR:  Where?
>  TIM:  There!
>  ARTHUR:  What, behind the rabbit?
>  TIM:  It is the rabbit!
>  ARTHUR:  You silly sod!  You got us all worked up!
>  TIM:  Well, that's no ordinary rabbit.  That's the most foul, cruel,
>      and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on.
>  ROBIN:  You tit!  I soiled my armor I was so scared!
>  TIM:  Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide, it's a
>      killer!
>  KNIGHT:  Get stuffed!
>  TIM:  It'll do you a trick, mate!
>  KNIGHT:  Oh, yeah?
>  ROBIN:  You mangy Scot git!
>  TIM:  I'm warning you!
>  ROBIN:  What's he do, nibble your bum?
>  TIM:  He's got huge, sharp-- he can leap about-- look at the bones!
>  ARTHUR:  Go on, Boris.  Chop his head off!
>  BORIS:  Right!  Silly little bleeder.  One rabbit stew comin' right up!
> This one goes in the Goblin Port fer sure!
> Reasoning with squirrels is probably in the 20d6 against IQ range with no
> auto-success...
> Killer Squirrels
> Each individual Squirrel has MA = 12, IQ = 6 (not that that
> matters), DX = 12, and ST = 1. This means that any hit
> on a Squirrel will kill it. When attacked by Squirrels, a figure can
> strike
> once per melee turn (if a weapon is ready) AND stomp once.
> The stomp is rolled like a regular attack. Thus, you have a
> chance to kill two Squirrels per melee turn. If you are trying to
> stomp a Squirrel in an adjacent hex, and you miss, you do NOT
> roll to see if you hit the character in that hex, as you would
> if you were using a weapon.
> If a Squirrel bites you, you take 1 hit. Squirrel bites are CUMULATIVE
> against armor each turn, and shields don't count. If you
> are wearing leather, which takes 2 hits, then the first two Squirrel
> bites
> each turn don't count, but the rest do. A Squirrel must be
> on the figure's hex to attack.
> Rats have a DX of 10 to simplify the GM's rolling. DX 10
> gives a 75% chance of hitting. Therefore, instead of rolling 3
> dice for each rat, you can roll 1d6 for each rat, and let it hit on
> a roll of 1, 2, 3, or 4. This is faster ...
> Vorpal Killer Squirrels do damage equal to a Great Sword (3d6+1) on a
> result
> of 1.
> If Squirrels attack, they will fight until all are dead. They won't
> attack if you look strong. Sometimes they will not attack if
> you throw them food or your shopping bags or significant other.
> =====
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