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Jay on Jay



I'm going to try to clarify a few things without resorting to My usual style which I admit fully is purposely focused on invoking a hot/cold reaction rather than specifically attempting to generate a positive reaction for conclusions I've reached concerning particulars of the table top RPG hobby and/or TFT. This isn't meant to purposely upset or offend anybody it's a result of Me trying to learn how to write and trying to develop the skin toughness required when putting up creative work to public scrutiny and opinion knowing the impossibility of pleasing everybody with other details associated with the hot mess like feeling out other lines of approach to explaining concepts and what seems to generate interest and entertains and yada yada.

It's complicated stuff overall but not unfair to sum up by noting that writing is a subject I've always had particular challenges with, obviously, and I'm not only incompetent in this area by nature I also lack pretty much and formal education in the subject which is not an excuse for poor communication but rather something I offer by way of explaining why I might come across the way I do.

Colour that with the fact that I tend to post as one off's typed in thread with no eye toward editing or rewriting as I've already got an overfilled plate of word-salad pages requiring such treatment and I'm often looking to get something down and out there and don't really care if it's got a few warts or flaws as personally perfection has always been a blocker preventing Me from getting much of anything done trying to hide the mistakes I'm going to make simply from trying to write it down in the first place. Again not trying to justify My stuff by stating this and there's no doubt that the fact that I'm plain weird as a human being factors heavily into this which can be fulled by My mental state which can get pretty out there when I get worn out and I ain't getting younger while the creative process flows just the same as when I was eight and social media postings often come as I'm trying to wind down from some project that took a lot outta Me making it far too easy for playful to get past the filters I keep intending to get to stop that kind of stuff.

As if the fact that I lack the tool set to communicate elegantly and effectively weren't obstacle enough to what I'm hoping to accomplish the subject matter is in and of itself challenging as I'm pushing for some concepts that fly in the face of some of the axiomatic foundations of the medium at least in the general popular consensus of “RPG” and even “game” to some extent as well as saddling this with the “universal” system concept that takes a much bigger bite of issues than a narrower genera focus would do. I then further complicate the complicated mess with the inclusion of some modern technology as game-tools like virtual tables or the use of smart phones in play, 3d printing, play by e-mail and similar avenues of adding elements unavailable to play back in the day as well as salting the seeds I'm trying to sow a little more delaying the day I might actually reap a meatball or two if I ever untangle the spaghetti of limp noodle logic from the meet of it all to plant it but one problem at a time is best I find when attempting to progress toward achieving disaster. Meaning even if I succeed in getting something objectively out there doesn't mean it succeeds by virtue of the fact but My focus isn't on success for the sake of success so I continue to bang My head against the brick wall barriers and make an @$$ of Myself in the process in service to what I'm attempting to create which is NOT intending to upset or offend any other individual intentionally or stir up controversy or divisiveness within the community or change “gaming” overall for the community as practiced to suit My personal concepts and ideas. I simply feel I have something to offer by way of take it or leave it additions to what's currently accepted and even leaving all of it mechanically speaking it's still worth the effort in My estimation if some discussion results that helps refine a point or two in the community at large. Just because I may rub some the wrong way doesn't mean I'm doing so with intent and I am more than happy to take any issues anyone may have fielded to Me directly and see what can be done to address such concerns on My part. I'm actually more affected by… what at times comes across as… IDK “passive aggressive” reactions that by pass Me completely rather than at least allowing Me the opportunity to take responsibility and what lessons I can from it all and offer what accountability I can if owed albeit a public apology which may not amount to much subjectively for some but I offer in the spirit of taking My lumps when I've earned them and not trying to avoid My mistakes. Ideally I'd be competent enough as a person to avoid @$$ whippings altogether but hoping doesn't hide the lack and while there may be no path to pleasing all parties in every situation it's usually still possible to find a way to agree to disagree civilly if an effort is made to try.

I'm leaving this here and will address the actual system mechanics I was alluding to as apart from personal issues concerning the source as apparently that bit got missed in all of this and I think it's an interesting and informative idea for discussion purposes but didn't want to jump on “gm's call” as a springboard for what amounts to an argument against taking such a view in the consideration of numerical statistics as character trait description values and how such applies in game mechanics… not to mention wishes and what might be implied by how wishes are written up in the TFT ruleset. I wanted to take a different approach that avoided implying “gm's call” was incorrect or inferior to My view… maybe that part of it actually came out sortta like I hopped cause the rest of it sure surprised Me.

I have to be crazy. It's the only thing to explain what I'm doing.

Weeeeeeeee I guess.