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(TFT) Parenthood Talents/Spells
As a thank-you to the list, I thought that I would re-post my collected list
of parenthood skills and spells for TFT. If anyone happens to use any of
these in a campaign I would love to hear (laugh) about it.
Jim Dirmaier
Spells of Parenthood
IQ 8
Deafness - Blocks all infant cries within a 3-megahex area. 1 ST.
Spousal Awakening - Gives caster the ability to roll over and wake up
spouse at any hour of the night. Costs 1 ST. Roll a reaction roll to see if
subject holds a grudge in the morning.
IQ 9
Cleanse Diaper - Eliminates all fecal matter upon casting. Roll 3 vs. ST to
avoid retching if spell fails. 1 ST to cast
Speed Movement - A special form of the TFT spell which enables caster to
keep up with toddler. 2 ST to cast, plus 2 per minute to maintain. (Note:
this can exhaust caster quickly)
IQ 10
Image of baby-sitter - Threatening, but disappears if touched. 1 ST to
cast.
Amuse Baby - Entertains infant subject for a turn. 1 ST + 1 to sustain.
CAUTION: Roll 3 vs. IQ or suffer temporary -1 to IQ.
IQ 11
Summon Baby-sitter - Creates 30 point teenage NPC to baby-sit. Spell
duration: 1 hour with no ST cost, but drains $5/hour. Can be renewed for up
to 6 hours, but then must recast.
Babytalk - Subject thinks baby babble is understandable, responding in
kind. Lasts 4 turns. 1 ST to cast. Strangers react to subject at -2.
Lactate - Allows subject (male! or female) to provide the bonding
experience that is normally reserved only for mothers. 3 +1 ST per minute.
IQ12
Eyes Behind - Allows caster to maintain constant vigil. 3 ST per hour.
Sleep - Puts subject to sleep (roll 4 vs. DX when casting on infants) Can
and often MUST be cast on self after a day with children. 3 ST
IQ 13
Control Baby - As control person in TFT but caster must roll 5 vs. IQ to
subdue children under 3. 3 ST.
Food Glamour - Makes children's food appear palatable. Costs 1 ST for basic
edibles (e.g. peas, transformed to chocolate chip cookies), 2 ST to conceal
liver, brussel sprouts, etc.
Lock/Knock Cabinet - Seals cabinets, outlets, and doors against little
prying fingers. As per TFT.
IQ 14
Coordinate Outfit - Like Glamour. Ability to dress a kid in such a way as
to avoid future embarrassment from childhood photographs. 10 ST. May be used
in conjunction with Sears "Winnie the Pooh" collection.
Summon Teddy Bear - Functions as Pacifier (see magic items). Duration: 1
hour. 2 ST. Alternate spell: Summon Glass of Water.
IQ 15
Reverse Question - Throws question back at child. 2 ST + 1 per turn.
Analyze Teenager - Caster rolls 4 vs. IQ to examine the mind of a subject
between ages 12 and 18. CAUTION: If the IQ roll is missed, the target might
shapeshift into a demon! Cost 4 ST.
IQ 16
Summon Sibling - Calls innocent scapegoat. 5 ST Normally a defensive spell,
a nastier version exists: Summon Bully gains +2 on persuasion rolls. (mainly
used by children, but can be used at any age)
Common Front - Used to coordinate discipline with spouse. Both mother and
father must successfully cast the spell, which costs each 3 ST. To provide
refuge in case of failure, it is wise to set up a Pentagram. (Often used
with "Couch of Last Resort" - see magic items).
IQ 17
Question Shield - Renders caster impervious to repetitious queries. Does
not work against Word of Command "WHY?", which only children can learn. 3 ST
+ 1/turn.
Detect in-laws - Functions as WARD spell. 5 ST to set up.
IQ 18
Cleansing - Cast on person, this spell cures the common cold, flu, chicken
pox, acne, and other childhood ailments. Failure gives the disease to
caster. 10 ST.
Clean Room - Lifts dust from surfaces, cleans clutter from floorspace.
Especially useful in combination with Magic Toy Chest. Cost: 4 ST.
Stop Time - Preserves memories forever. 6 ST.
IQ 19
Summon Aunt - Compels caster's sister to drop everything and drop by to
baby-sit for the weekend. Cost $500, plus airfare. If it fails, see "Detect
in-laws".
Protection - A spell of invulnerability, shielding a child from the
problems of the world for one day. Cost 8 ST.
IQ 20
Words of Command - As in TFT: "NO!" "DON'T!" "STOP!"
Summon Mary Poppins - An improved version of "Summon Baby-sitter". This
spell creates a 50-point character that is Practically Perfect in every way,
and also uses flight spell. Choose from the list of Parenting Spells and
Talents. 10 ST. Alternative Necromantic spells: Summon Tollenkar or Send to
Military School.
Parenting Talents
IQ 8
Baby Burping (1) - Successful on 3 vs. DX roll. Failure costs 5g.p.for dry
cleaning.
IQ 9
Advice Giving (2) - Basic ability to mold and shape a child's character.
Failure in the use of this talent may mean a permanent -3 on future reaction
rolls.
IQ 10
Spousal Appeasement (2) - Like Diplomacy, the ability to resolve simple
marital/ family arguments on a successful roll of 3 vs. IQ Roll 4 vs. IQ in
critical situations. 5 vs. IQ if fighting (6, during PMS). -1 to reaction
rolls if missed.
IQ 11
Fatherhood I. (2) - Like Monster Followers talent. Prerequisite: Advice
Giving, as well as: Common Sense, Compassion, Tolerance, Discipline, and
Understanding.
IQ 12
Fatherhood II. (2) - Prerequisite: Fatherhood I. Roll 1 die less when
answering questions. This talent includes the Mechanician talent, for doing
simple repairs around the home.
IQ 13
Clemency (3) - Ability to be forgiven. Prerequisite: Spousal Appeasement.
Fatherhood III. (3) - Prerequisite: Fatherhood II and ST 14. The ability to
beat up any bully's father. FH3 also gives a limited Spying/"Analyze
Teenager" ability, Useful for investigating your daughter's boyfriends.
Parenting Magic Items
LESSER MAGICAL ITEMS
· Carpet of Eternal Cleanliness - Cost 500 g.p.- Variations: Bib of
Repulsion.
· Crib of Containment - A Pentagram variation. Holds babies and demons
within a 1-hex area.
· Rattle of Amusement - An object enchanted with the Amuse Baby spell.
· Pacifier of Silence - As per the Deafness spell. No ST cost.
· Music Box of Lullabies - Characters within 3 megahexes must roll 3 vs. IQ
or fall asleep for a time equal to 30 minus their ST (minutes). Works great
against Prootwaddles too!
· Bottomless Bottle of Milk - A mini-cornucopia, specializing in milk. Other
forms: Never-ending Nursing Bra.
· Toy Chest of Holding - Can store an infinite amount of toys. (also see
Pandora's box).
· Car Seat of Safety - Costs 1 ST to activate if car is Scandinavian-made.
Costs 5 ST when used on sportscars.
GREATER MAGICAL ITEMS
· Avert Bully - This amulet takes the form of a lunch box, sharpened pencil,
or a rabbit's foot. It is a +1 good luck charm when used in the principle's
office.
· Elmer's Elixer of Bonding - Holds you together for a long day at
work/school/in the kitchen. (Sold commercially as magical "Hamburger
Helper).
· Tool Belt of Repairs - Contains items for household maintenance. Powers
invoked by the magical phrase, "Honey, would you do?". When worn with Pants
Showing Crack, mechanician talent rolls are enhanced at +1.
· Couch of Last Resort - A pentagram/ultimatum for decision-making,
activated by spouse and the magic words: "honey, we need to talk?". This
item occupies 2 hexes and costs 5 ST, due to a pain in the neck.
· Hammer Touch Glove - As per TFT this disciplinary item deals with
unremitting pestilence. It dispels the myth, "Son, this will hurt me more
than it does you." See also: Studded Belt of Persuasion. For puritans only.
· Sheath of Contraception - Many forms. Offers 100% protection and a
lifetime guarantee. Magical opposite: Shaft of Virility.
· Ring of Uninterrupted Sex - A combination Ward/Avert/Pentagram item that
affects children and family pets. Can also be used to disconnect phone and
disable doorbell. Comes cleverly disguised as a wedding band
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