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JOHN LACKHANDS AND THE PROOTWADDLES IN TIGHTS
(This encounter uses the idea proposed a while back by Rick Smith for
allowing an NPC to have talents one or two IQ above his IQ by paying a
higher cost for them.)
John Lackhands ST:11 DX:10 IQ:6 Talent:Literacy
John loved to read, especially the cheap pennydreadful crime novels
which inspired him to pursue the life of crime. He was promptly caught and
punished on his first attempt at theft. (It doesn't help when you berate
your victim, "Can't you hold still! I'm trying to pick your pockets here!")
Horrified and chagrined by his punishment John ran away from the city and
deep into the Tarnisht Forest where he has gathered around him a band of
larcenously inclined prootwaddles. The first victims of this new band of
highwaymen was a troupe of performers from whom they acquired the off-white
(now brownish yellowy green) tights which have become the band's uniform.
John still likes to read, when he can find someone to turn the pages
Friar Chumpie ST:17 DX:10 IQ:6 Talent:Farmer
Huge (for a prootwaddle), humpbacked and hooknosed, Friar Chumpie
carries a quarterstaff, though he never has figured out how to use it
properly. He simply clenches it at one end and swings it about. Each time
he connects with an opponent he yammers stridently, "That's the way to do
it! That's the way to do it!"
Along with maintaining a plot of the hot peppers prootwaddles love so
much Friar Chumpie is also the band's official chef & forager for
yummiegoochie. 'Yummiegoochie' is a prootwaddle word meaning 'dead thing
found lying at the side of the road'. Yummiegoochie is the primary
ingredient in a spicy traditional prootwaddle chili, also called
yummiegoochie. It is theorized that their fondness for this chili is the
source of the name 'prootwaddle'. That's onomatopoeia for you.
Yummiegoochie, in addition to 'dead thing found lying at the side of the
road' and 'hot spicy chili', also means 'great sex' -- there is nothing like
flatulence for raising a prootmaiden's skirts.
-- to be continued
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