(TFT) AprilPROOT

["Patrick Keleher" <patkeleher@hotmail.com>]

    JOHN LACKHANDS AND THE PROOTWADDLES IN TIGHTS
    (This encounter uses the idea proposed a while back by Rick Smith for 
allowing an NPC to have talents one or two IQ above his IQ by paying a 
higher cost for them.)
    John Lackhands  ST:11 DX:10 IQ:6  Talent:Literacy
    John loved to read, especially the cheap pennydreadful crime novels 
which inspired him to pursue the life of crime.  He was promptly caught and 
punished on his first attempt at theft.  (It doesn't help when you berate 
your victim, "Can't you hold still!  I'm trying to pick your pockets here!") 
 Horrified and chagrined by his punishment John ran away from the city and 
deep into the Tarnisht Forest where he has gathered around him a band of 
larcenously inclined prootwaddles.  The first victims of this new band of 
highwaymen was a troupe of performers from whom they acquired the off-white 
(now brownish yellowy green) tights which have become the band's uniform.
    John still likes to read, when he can find someone to turn the pages 
for him.
    Friar Chumpie  ST:17 DX:10 IQ:6  Talent:Farmer
    Huge (for a prootwaddle), humpbacked and hooknosed, Friar Chumpie 
carries a quarterstaff, though he never has figured out how to use it 
properly.  He simply clenches it at one end and swings it about.  Each time 
he connects with an opponent he yammers stridently, "That's the way to do 
it!  That's the way to do it!"
    Along with maintaining a plot of the hot peppers prootwaddles love so 
much Friar Chumpie is also the band's official chef & forager for 
yummiegoochie.  'Yummiegoochie' is a prootwaddle word meaning 'dead thing 
found lying at the side of the road'.  Yummiegoochie is the primary 
ingredient in a spicy traditional prootwaddle chili, also called 
yummiegoochie.  It is theorized that their fondness for this chili is the 
source of the name 'prootwaddle'.  That's onomatopoeia for you.  
Yummiegoochie, in addition to 'dead thing found lying at the side of the 
road' and 'hot spicy chili', also means 'great sex' -- there is nothing like 
flatulence for raising a prootmaiden's skirts.
    -- to be continued
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