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RE: (TFT) An Even More Radical Re-Imagining of TFT...

From: "Ty Beard" <tbeard@tyler.net>

As the leading heretic in this email list*.

*To claim the title, I point to my suggestion to use polyhedrals in TFT...

CROWD: A witch! A witch! A witch! We've got a witch! A witch!
VILLAGER #1: We have found a witch, might we burn her?
CROWD: Burn her! Burn!
BEDEVERE: How do you know she is a witch?
VILLAGER #2: She looks like one.
BEDEVERE: Bring her forward.
WITCH: I'm not a witch. I'm not a witch.
BEDEVERE: But you are dressed as one.
WITCH: They dressed me up like this.
CROWD: No, we didn't -- no.

WITCH: And this isn't a GURPS idea, they just call it a GURPS like.

VILLAGER #1: Well, we did say to just use GURPS.
BEDEVERE: The idea?

VILLAGER #1: And the D&D hat -- but she is a witch!

CROWD: Burn her! Witch! Witch! Burn her!
BEDEVERE: Did you dress her up like this?
CROWD: No, no... no ... yes. Yes, yes, a bit, a bit.

VILLAGER #1: She has got a wart.  It allows free sweeping blows!
BEDEVERE: What makes you think she is a witch?

VILLAGER #3: Well, she turned me into a poly hedra dice.

BEDEVERE: A poly hedra dice?
VILLAGER #3: I got better.
VILLAGER #2: Burn her anyway!
CROWD: Burn! Burn her!
BEDEVERE: Quiet, quiet. Quiet! There are ways of telling whether
she is a witch.
CROWD: Are there? What are they?
BEDEVERE: Tell me, what do you do with witches?
VILLAGER #2: Burn!
CROWD: Burn, burn them up!
BEDEVERE: And what do you burn apart from witches?
VILLAGER #1: More witches!

VILLAGER #2: D20 rule books!
BEDEVERE: So, why do witches burn?


VILLAGER #3: B--... 'cause they're made of D20 rule books...?
CROWD: Oh yeah, yeah...
BEDEVERE: So, how do we tell whether she is made of a D20 rule book?

VILLAGER #1: Build a campaign out of her.
BEDEVERE: Aah, but can you not also build campaigns out of TFT?
VILLAGER #2: Oh, yeah.

BEDEVERE: Does a page of D20 rules sink in water?
VILLAGER #1: No, no.
VILLAGER #2: It floats! It floats!
VILLAGER #1: Throw her into the pond!
CROWD: The pond!
BEDEVERE: What also floats in water?
VILLAGER #1: Bread!
VILLAGER #2: Apples!
VILLAGER #3: Very small rocks!
VILLAGER #1: Cider!
VILLAGER #2: Great gravy!
VILLAGER #1: Cherries!
VILLAGER #3: Churches -- churches!
VILLAGER #2: Lead -- lead!

  ARTHUR: A duck.

CROWD: Oooh.
BEDEVERE: Exactly! So, logically...,

VILLAGER #1: If... she.. weighs the same as a duck, she's made of
a page of D20 rules.
BEDEVERE: And therefore--?
VILLAGER #1: A witch!
CROWD: A witch!
BEDEVERE: We shall use my largest scales!
BEDEVERE: Right, remove the supports!
CROWD: A witch! A witch!
WITCH: It's a fair cop.
CROWD: Burn her! Burn!

BEDEVERE: Who are you who are so wise in the ways of RPGs?

  ARTHUR: I am Jackson, King of the D6.

BEDEVERE: My liege!

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