[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index]

Re: (TFT) New List Member Introduction

John Paul wrote in response to Tony:

Welcome to the group.  Now get your brothers here too!  And remember, your
kid doesn't have to read (or be born yet) to start in TFT:  lean against
your wife's belly and just start reciting the rules...

Hail Tony

John Paul

Even better than that, start learning some of these usfull spells and talents below in preperation. My wife is 7 months pregnant and I am studying like crazy (I only wish I could cast a spell like "Cleanse Diaper"!.
Welcome to the group.

Yes folks, I am still out here lurking and enjoying your input. John Paul, I especially appreciate your latest set of work and observations.

Hail Parents

Spells of Parenthood

IQ 8
	Deafness ? Blocks all infant cries within a 3-megahex area. 1 ST.

Spousal Awakening ? Gives caster the ability to roll over and wake up spouse at any hour of the night. Costs 1 ST. Roll a reaction roll to see if subject holds a grudge in the morning.

IQ 9
Cleanse Diaper ? Eliminates all fecal matter upon casting. Roll 3 vs. ST to avoid retching if spell fails. 1 ST to cast

Speed Movement ? A special form of the TFT spell which enables caster to keep up with toddler. 2 ST to cast, plus 2 per minute to maintain. (Note: this can exhaust caster quickly)

IQ 10
Image of baby-sitter ? Threatening, but disappears if touched. 1 ST to cast.

Amuse Baby ? Entertains infant subject for a turn. 1 ST + 1 to sustain. CAUTION: Roll 3 vs. IQ or suffer temporary ?1 to your IQ.

IQ 11
Summon Baby-sitter ? Creates 30 point teenage NPC to baby-sit. Spell duration: 1 hour with no ST cost, but drains $5/hour + all food in fridge. Can be renewed for up to 6 hours, but then must recast.

Babytalk ? Subject thinks baby babble is understandable, responding in kind. Lasts 4 turns. 1 ST to cast. Strangers react to subject at ?2.

Lactate ? Allows subject (male! or female) to provide the bonding experience that is normally reserved only for mothers. 3 +1 ST per minute.

	Eyes Behind ? Allows caster to maintain constant vigil. 3 ST per hour.

Sleep ? Puts subject to sleep (roll 4 vs. DX when casting on infants) Can and often MUST be cast on self. 3 ST

IQ 13
Control Baby ? As control person in TFT but caster must roll 5 vs. IQ to subdue children under 3. 3 ST.

Food Glamour ? Makes children?s food appear palatable. Costs 1 ST for basic edibles (e.g. peas, transformed to chocolate chip cookies), 2 ST to conceal liver, brussel sprouts, etc.

Lock/Knock Cabinet ? Seals cabinets, outlets, and doors against little prying fingers. As per TFT.

IQ 14
Coordinate Outfit ? Like Glamour. Ability to dress a kid in such a way as to avoid future embarrassment from childhood photographs. 10 ST. May be used in conjunction with Sears ?Winnie the Pooh? collection.

Summon Teddy Bear ? Functions as Pacifier (see magic items). Duration: 1 hour. 2 ST. Alternate spell: Summon Glass of Water.

IQ 15
	Reverse Question ? Throws question back at child. 2 ST + 1 per turn.

Analyze Teenager ? Caster rolls 4 vs. IQ to examine the mind of a subject between ages 12 and 18. CAUTION: If the IQ roll is missed, the target might shapeshift into a demon! Cost 4 ST.

IQ 16
Summon Sibling ? Calls innocent scapegoat. 5 ST Normally a defensive spell, a nastier version exists: Summon Bully gains +2 on persuasion rolls.

Common Front ? Used to coordinate discipline with spouse. Both mother and father must successfully cast the spell, which costs each 3 ST. To provide refuge in case of failure, it is wise to set up a Pentagram. (Often used with ?Couch of Last Resort? ? see magic items).

IQ 17
Question Shield ? Renders caster impervious to repetitious queries. Does not work against Word of Command ?WHY??, which only children can learn. 3 ST + 1/turn.

	Detect in-laws ? Functions as WARD spell. 5 ST to set up.

IQ 18
Cleansing ? Cast on person, this spell cures the common cold, flu, chicken pox, acne, and other childhood ailments. Failure gives the disease to caster. 10 ST.

Clean Room ? Lifts dust from surfaces, cleans clutter from floorspace. Especially useful in combination with Magic Toy Chest. Cost: 4 ST.

	Stop Time ? Preserves memories forever. 6 ST.

IQ 19
Summon Aunt ? Compels caster?s sister to drop everything and drop by to baby-sit for the weekend. Cost $500, plus airfare. If it fails, see ?Detect in-laws?.

Protection ? A spell of invulnerability, shielding a child from the problems of the world for one day. Cost 8 ST.

IQ 20
	Words of Command ? As in TFT:    ?NO!?    ?DON?T!?       ?STOP!?

Summon Mary Poppins ? An improved version of ?Summon Baby-sitter?. This spell creates a 50-point character that is Practically Perfect in every way, and also uses flight spell. Choose from the list of Parenting Spells and Talents. 10 ST. Alternative Necromantic spells: Summon Tollenkar or Send to Military School.

Parenting Talents

IQ 8
Baby Burping (1) ? Successful on 3 vs. DX roll. Failure costs 5g.p.for dry cleaning.

IQ 9
Advice Giving (2) ? Basic ability to mold and shape a child?s character. Failure in the use of this talent may mean a permanent ?3 on future reaction rolls.

IQ 10
Spousal Appeasement (2) ? Like Diplomacy, the ability to resolve simple marital/ family arguments on a successful roll of 3 vs. IQ Roll 4 vs. IQ in critical situations. 5 vs. IQ if fighting (6, during PMS). ?1 to all reaction rolls for on month from spouse and children if missed.

IQ 11
Fatherhood I. (2) ? Like Monster Followers talent. Prerequisite: Advice Giving, as well as: Common Sense, Compassion, Tolerance, Discipline, and Understanding.

IQ 12
Fatherhood II. (2) ? Prerequisite: Fatherhood I. Roll 1 die less when answering questions. This talent includes the Mechanician talent, for doing simple repairs around the home.

IQ 13
	Clemency (3) ? Ability to be forgiven. Prerequisite: Spousal Appeasement.

Fatherhood III. (3) ? Prerequisite: Fatherhood II and ST 14. The ability to beat up any bully?s father. FH3 also gives a limited Spying/?Analyze Teenager? ability, Useful for investigating your daughter?s boyfriends.

Parenting Magic Items


 Carpet of Eternal Cleanliness ? Cost 500 g.p.- Variations: Bib of Repulsion.

 Crib of Containment ? A Pentagram variation. Holds babies and demons within a 1-hex area.

 Rattle of Amusement ? An object enchanted with the Amuse Baby spell.

 Pacifier of Silence ? As per the Deafness spell. No ST cost.

 Music Box of Lullabies ? Characters within 3 megahexes must roll 3 vs. IQ or fall asleep for a time equal to 30 minus their ST (minutes). Works great against Prootwaddles too!

 Bottomless Bottle of Milk ? A mini-cornucopia, specializing in milk. Other forms: Never-ending Nursing Bra.

 Toy Chest of Holding ? Can store an infinite amount of toys. (also see Pandora?s box).

 Car Seat of Safety ? Costs 1 ST to activate if car is Scandinavian-made. Costs 5 ST when used on sportscars.


 Avert Bully ? This amulet takes the form of a lunch box, sharpened pencil, or a rabbit?s foot. It is a +1 good luck charm when used in the principle?s office.

 Elmer?s Elixer of Bonding ? Holds you together for a long day at work/school/in the kitchen. (Sold commercially as magical ?Hamburger Helper).

 Tool Belt of Repairs ? Contains items for household maintenance. Powers invoked by the magical phrase, ?Honey, would you do??. When worn with Pants Showing Crack, mechanician talent rolls are enhanced at +1.

 Couch of Last Resort ? A pentagram/ultimatum for decision-making, activated by spouse and the magic words: ?honey, we need to talk??. This item occupies 2 hexes and costs 5 ST, due to a pain in the neck.

 Hammer Touch Glove ? As per TFT this disciplinary item deals with unremitting pestilence. It dispels the myth, ?Son, this will hurt me more than it does you.? See also: Studded Belt of Persuasion. For puritans only.

 Sheath of Contraception ? Many forms. Offers 100% protection and a lifetime guarantee. Magical opposite: Shaft of Virility.

 Ring of Uninterrupted Sex ? A combination Ward/Avert/Pentagram item that affects children and family pets. Can also be used to disconnect phone and disable doorbell. Comes cleverly disguised as a wedding band.

Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com

Post to the entire list by writing to tft@brainiac.com.
Unsubscribe by mailing to majordomo@brainiac.com with the message body
"unsubscribe tft"