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Re: (TFT) MA issues, proposed fix

----- Original Message ----- From: "Jay Carlisle"

I don't want to put my fat-assed stats up against a Beckham on a futball

"I" am Conan...

Try to limit me to my real-world fatness and I might just decide that my
only real option is a trigger... but this is "escapism".

What's the joke that's becoming an old saw now?
"Pop the <insert something living deemed unimportant here> on the head and
get x-gold coins."

ughhhhh, I should know better than to post when I'm Fou.

Fou the Noo

I just come frae a weddin', or a fun'ral,
A christ'nin' or somethin' of the kind,
And the stuff that I've been drinkin' took my noodle,
And to what or where I've been I canna mind.
I feel as brave as any highway robber;
I've the courage of a dozen men the noo;
I'm a miserable devil when I'm sober
But I'm very, very happy when I'm fou!

And I'm fou the noo! absolutely fou!
But I adore the country I was born in.
My name is Jock McGraw and I dinna care a straw
For I've somethin' in the bottle for the mornin'
And I'm fou the noo! Absolutely fou!
But I adore the country I was born in.
My name is Jock McGraw and I dinna care a straw
For I've somethin' in the bottle for the mornin'!

If ye take a Five Pound Note to light your pipe with;
If ye think a bassinette's a motor car;
If ye lift the doormat up to wipe your nose with,
If you're in your hoose and don't know where you are;
If you kiss a policeman and say "Hoo dearly,
My dearest darlin' pet hoo, I love you"
Well then that denotes conclusively and clearly.
That, like me, ma freen's, yer absolutely fou!


I felt quite mad when coming roon the corner,
A lamp post struck me richt between the eyes!
Ma blood got up I wanted to be fighting,
Because the thing did not apologize.
Just after that I tumbled oe'r a doorstep,
"Thieves!" "Murder!" and "Police!" I cried,
But I'm goin' to make the owner compensate me,
For his negligence in leaving it outside.

Patter (spoken) Yes, but at the same time the burnin' question is , when is a man fou? Eh? Of course, the cheaper the whisky, the greater the burnin' question. The wife will swear whe I go home that I've been drinkin'. Would you notice I've been drinkin', eh? As I was comin' along the street th' noo, I met a half-cousin of the wife's : you "know one of these Dr. Dowie-chaps". Said he "John! I'm surprised at you. are you aware the wicked stand on slippery places?" "Well!" said I, "you should be just like me - keep slidin' along, and there's no fear of you" Said he, "You are not fit for any society!" Said I, "That's a lie. The wife has me in the Prudential." Ya see th' bird I've got in ma hand? (holding chicken up by the neck). D'ye know the way I got it? Ma hat blew off and I chased this for half-an-hour!


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